so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
