would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
