My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
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