I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
