I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Randomize
