I cannot find my penis.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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