i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
