Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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