The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
i need some magic done to my vagina
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
