Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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