Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
