So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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