OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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