I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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