I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
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