I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Randomize
