i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
