You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
