you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
