he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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