if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
