4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
