Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
