Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
