would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
high people should be assigned attendants
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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