you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize