I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
