I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Randomize
