getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
