Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
