A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
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