So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
