i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
