Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
you are never too drunk for berry picking
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Alive.
So much puke
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Someone came in the potted fern
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Randomize
