i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
