My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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