did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
