the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Randomize
