how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
