i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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