we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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