I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Randomize
