Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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