I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
