What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize