Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
