found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
