I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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