No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
