how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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