apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
