were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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