she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
