So drunk its hurt
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Randomize
