I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
