Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
