My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize