I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
