I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
