a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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