dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
