I wannas sexs uuuuu
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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