Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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